People I Want to Be When I Grow Up

I thought of calling this post “Heroes.” But then I thought, “Not everyone here is exactly a hero.” Then I thought about “My Role Models.” But I don't actually model myself after anyone. My third choice was “People I Admire.” But “admiration” seems too weak a word. So finally I came up with the title you see – for want of a better one.

Note: The names are listed chronologically in the order in which that person affected me in my lifetime.

Note: Since I'm certain any Christian would put Jesus as #1, this believer will just leave him out and consider it a given.

Note: You won't see any sports figures here. I know that some have been heroic on as well as off the field, but they just haven't made that kind of an impact on me. If I had to choose one right now, maybe Floyd Patterson, who brought grace and humility to boxing. I'd like to have known him.

BIG HONKIN' NOTE: I ascribe to no political affiliation, so I'm not endorsing the politics of any politicians you see listed here.   You'll find that my admiration in each case has nothing to do with their platform or their party.  Enjoy!

Steve McQueen

I call him my generation's Bogart. Talk about cool. I was 10 when I saw him trying to outrace the Germans on a motorcycle in The Great Escape. My friends and I all thought that was the coolest thing we'd ever seen. I was 15 when he traded the bike for a souped-up Mustang in Bullitt and became the King of Cool. I'm pretty certain Bullitt was the only film he ever swore in (just a single but devastating, well-timed word to Robert Vaughn in the airport). See it again and notice how he uses silence and underplaying to such great effect.

Clifford Parks

My junior high school science teacher remains the one person I've tried to emulate over the years. He didn't brook any disrespect, but he was the funniest and most compassionate teacher I ever had. I once saw him outside a department store wearing a priest's garb. I was so surprised that I walked up to him and called him by name just to see if he was really Mr. Parks. Turned out he had a twin brother! Yet I wasn't surprised that it might have been him. Twenty years later, I'd been thinking about those days and decided to write him a letter. Two weeks after that, my wife told me I had a phone call. He'd gotten my letter in the midst of a blue funk and my words lifted him out of it. We became correspondents for several years. Then one day, I got a letter from him that was unusually affectionate, addressing me as if I were one of his own sons, and signing off with “Love.” There was a postscript at the bottom from his wife: Cliff was lapsing into dementia and was no longer certain who people were anymore. I never heard from him again.

Bobby Kennedy

The first and only politician I ever campaigned for (basically stuffing envelopes). I was 15 and liked him because he was funny and idealistic, just like I thought I was. I honestly didn't know much about politics or what a hardass attorney general he'd been, though I trusted him to get us out of Vietnam. When he was assassinated, that ended my involvement with politics and my political affiliations of any kind. (Please keep that in mind when reading about other political figures below.)

Morton Clark

He was the opposite of what I thought a boot camp company commander should be like. Soft-spoken and respectful (of us!), he made us all feel like he and I were all involved in a program he was still learning about himself. Nothing could have made us more committed to excellence than feeling valued in the first place, while other CC's were much more conventional – I'll never forget hearing one of them in the galley say to a recruit, “Move it, worm.” It felt like pure bully-hatred, not discipline. Clark taught me a lesson I've carried throughout my life: At a gangly 120 pounds, I was the last guy to cross the finish line on the obstacle course. The next time we went out there, he put me in front of the pack. I was certain I'd get trampled, but I wound up still ahead of everyone at the finish line. I learned I could do anything if I just confronted my fears. (It was just like him that I should be allowed to sit out the obstacle course under a tree one week because I had a cold.) Our company ended up with far and away the most flags in the whole platoon, which meant we were the most accomplished – and also the most proud.

John McCain

All that matters to me is that he served us proudly as a P.O.W. in Nam, so much so that he turned down the chance to go free because he refused to leave the others behind. P.O.W. bracelets were popular at the time, and mine said “John McCain,” although the bracelets were random and I had no idea who he was.

William Packard

Packard taught a poetry class at what was then called the New School for Social Research in Greenwich Village. I learned a lot from him not just from his teaching, but from his own poems – he showed me that a poem could be expansive and almost prosaic, yet still beautiful and profound, and he gave me the courage to try that myself. (The only poem of mine that really reflected his influence went on to win my first poetry prize later in grad school.) He was the founder and editor of the New York Quarterly, an eclectic poetry magazine that featured a craft interview with a major poet in each issue. I admired those interviews because the subject was always the work itself, no personal fluff. I served on the editorial staff for about two years; we once rejected some poems by Charles Bukowski but printed his cover letter because it was just so Bukowski. One night when one of the other staffers and I had been slogging through entries for a few hours, Packard dropped in, the ubiquitous cigarette hanging from his mouth, and asked me, “How's it going?” I told him what I thought of that day's intake so far, and he replied, “No, I meant how's it going – with you. How are you doing?” If you're able to find his “Ty Cobb Poem” anywhere online, that's the work of his I admire most.

William Brady

I have all kinds of admiration for people who survive great odds (particularly assassination attempts) and then go on to become figureheads of reform. Doesn't matter the issue. (See farther down for more).

Rudy Giuliani

He wasn't even on my radar, really, until the twin towers came down and he became SuperMayor, not only the reassuring figure New York needed at that dark hour, but also the take-charge leader who remained downtown in the thick of the immediate aftermath. I can't even begin to imagine attending all the funerals he went to, so many of them people he knew. I hoped every U.S. mayor was taking notes.

Steve Buscemi

I've always liked Buscemi onscreen. But on 911, when all available help was needed, Buscemi, a former New York City fireman, returned to his old station and suited up.

Hilary Clinton

I've liked her and I've hated her. But still, I have to hand it to any First Lady who can survive her husband's very public sex scandal, then go on to win a Senate seat, run for President, and become Secretary of State. How she fared in those positions isn't at issue here. Like I said, like and hate. The fact is, she took off her dainty First Lady gloves and made history.

Gabby Giffords

See William Brady. She's handled herself with strength and grace, and I include her husband Mark in this assessment. A warrior and half of a model marriage.

Malala Yousafzai

See Brady and Giffords. Malala has my highest admiration by far. Shot in the face by the Taliban for wanting other girls in her country to get an education, surviving, and then becoming an outspoken champion for oppressed girls everywhere, she is simply awe-inspiring (not to mention winning the Nobel Peace prize).

Zach Roderick

Zach is a 23-year-old Maine resident and friend of the family who was riding in a car that struck a tree last November. He was paralyzed from the waist down and is dealing with some pretty big obstacles, but it's Zach's heart that gets me. He was on life support for a week, and ever since then he's worn a smile, attacking his PT with a fierce determination and lifting the spirits of everyone who comes in contact with him. He's not the reason I began this post, but he's as worthy as anyone here. So many individuals and organizations are reaching out to help with his rehabilitation – here's my plug for Zach's contribution site: www.gofundme.com/hd557s.